I can remember sitting in assemblies at secondary school being bored, by what seemed like old, grey headed vicars coming and talking to us about religion. To be fair to them, they may have done a perfectly good assembly; but I was not in a position to hear it. That said, I did become a vicar, so may be their assemblies did work! Though what it does mean is that when I do secondary school assemblies I try to make them a little different to keep the pupils attention. Below is the script from this year’s Christmas assembly. I wonder, how many tv show references can you spot?
The Christmas Story
Over the year many have undertaken to tell the Christmas story of the birth of Jesus, but few have done so with reference to tv shows- until now!
Today as we begin the Countdown to Christmas I want to tell you the Story of the Good News of Christmas with reference to as many TV shows as possible that you may or may not find on over the festive period. There is a prize for the first person to guess correctly or be the nearest.
Just so you know, so far the count is two.
Now I don’t expect you to get them all, you would need to watch a lot of tv and have a very high QI, I mean IQ, but Stranger Things have happened
So to the Christmas Story…
So Mary and Joseph and all their Neighbours from the house of David left Home. And Away they went on their journey to Bethlehem.
Reaching Bethlehem there was no room at the Inn, and the time came for the baby to be born; in those days it was not like you could Call The Midwife or get a Doctor, Who could help. No. the child was born and wrapped in swaddling clothes no laid in a manger.
The Bread of life that could feed the whole world, laid in a food trough for animals.
Out in the fields Angels appeared to Shepherds watching their sheep at night saying Have I Got News for You! This Morning has been born in the town of David the Messiah, the Christ. They were Frozen to the spot with fear, but The Voice of the Angels told them not to fear.
If what the angels said was true then they had to go and see. Was this the long expected Messiah? This was not Men Behaving Badly, leaving behind their flocks, they must go and see if this is true.
So they left This farming life, not even stopping for Breakfast. News like this could not wait. And went in search of the child. And surprise surprise they found the mother and child just as they had been told.
And so having seen the child they left singing Songs of Praise and glorifying God, telling everyone they met about what had happened
Meanwhile, wisemen in the east saw a star appear in the sky and knowing its significance they began their Star Trek. The Chase was on to find the place where the child would be born. This was to be a Grand Tour as on route they visit King Herod, who said he also wanted to know where the child was born so that he could pay homage.
They continued on their way to find the Christ child, if it was true it was the biggest thing to happen since the Big Bang. Theory about the child’s birth was one thing, actually seeing him was another.
And so they found the Mother and her child and presented their gifts.
But all was not as it seems. Are you Keeping up? Appearances can be deceptive, the wisemen realising the Herod secretly wanted to kill the child, had to Escape to the Country by a different route, until eventually returning to A Place in the Sun.
Having been born in a stable to poor parents, Jesus could have said I’m a Celebrity Get me out of here! After all he was God, he was the Son of God, but thats part of the whole point of Christmas, in that God came to be with us in the ordinary stuff of life.
The God who made The Wonders of the Universe, and the Sky at Night, humbled himself and came among us Humans, and showed us what true humanity was like. He came down to this Blue Planet 2 save it.
And so we are to be The Apprentice to the Master, following Jesus’ example in the way we are to live our lives. You may feel Lost in life, or that you are at a Cross Roads, if so, the Christmas message is for people like you and me who God came to save.
Would I lie to you? After all I am a Rev. Don’t be a Casualty of this culture that says God does not exist, sometimes what seems impossible can actually be true.
You can choose to dismiss the Christmas story as Pointless, or just another Jackanory Story, as God gives us free will to decide. But if even for a moment you think it might be true, then what might that mean for how you live life? To realise that you are part of Gods Grand Designs?
So as you sit down to your Christmas meal, open your presents, ignore the Queens speech, or catch up on Hollyoaks why not stop and think what does Christmas mean to you?
What does the birth of Jesus means to you?
So what do you think the Final Score is? How many tv shows were mentioned?
Home and Away
Call the Midwife
Have I got News for You
Men Behaving Badly
This Farming Life
Songs of Praise
The Big Bang Theory
Keeping up Appearances
Escape to the Country
A Place in the Sun
I’m a Celebrity Get me out of here!
The Wonders of the Universe,
Sky at Night
Blue Planet 2
Would I lie to you?
In total there are 41 different tv shows mentioned